Damn hormones

So last Friday night I was a bit weepy, and no idea why.  Had a rather maudlin mood going on, not quite a woe-is-me / feeling sorry for myself type mood, but it was out of the blue enough to annoy me.  I gave in to a little bit of crying, and when that didn't lessen the funk I got more aggravated. 

Anger is a good emotion for me; it's safe.  It allows me to feel something besides hurt, scared, or sad thus providing a good focus.  As a surface emotion is sometimes provides a good distraction.  What I found most frustrating-- other than the woe-is-me slant that my thoughts/emotions were taking-- is that I had no idea where the mood was coming from.  Granted, sometimes things surface, but I'd been having a pretty good day/evening.  So what the hell?

Plus in the back of my mind was the creeping fear:  not again.  Please not again.  I'm JUST starting to really even out after the disaster that was early February.  I want to keep going forward, not circle back.  I can be, and will probably continue to be for a few more months, paranoid about the course of my moods.  Never knowing what they might herald.

Saturday morning I discovered that my period had arrived overnight.  So, question answered.  I was a little weepy last night, for a different reason.  "Legitimate" feelings going on with that, but I pushed 'em aside to look at later.  I thought about blogging it, but knew I'd be up all night.  So I chose sleep.  Plus, I know that had I blogged about what's eating me last night there was a good chance I'd give in to the cry HARD core.  And anything I wrote would be colored by a lot of victim-esque word choices in my contemporary misery.

I shall probably write about it for everyone later in the week.

For today, my point is this--- hormones MATTER when it comes to mental illness.  Doesn't matter if you're male or female, fertile or not.  Hormones impact mood.  And not just the 'sex' hormones.  Wonky thyroids wreck HAVOC on 'normal' people.  So dear readers, if you feel a little off-- please go see your doctor.  It might not be in your head, or "JUST" in your head.  Sometimes a little bloodwork answers a lot of questions, and a daily pill can remedy a lot of headaches.